Some Serenity Please

Something's been happening to me lately. Oh, actually, it's probably been a few months now. I don't really understand why. I feel like I'm going a little crazy.

See, I hate being cooped up in the house, and winter... well, I hate the cold, brown, grey of winter, and I tend to stay inside if I can help it. Admittedly, I suffer a bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Days when the sun shines help.

The effect of winter on my mind is a sense of insanity. I feel anxious. I get short tempered. Easily frustrated. Lazy. I find myself clinching my teeth, and occasionally wanting to scream. Even my driveway looks different in the winter, greyer, harder, more dead (if that's possible).

TMI?

I do get out of the house sometimes. That helps. Melora and I get a sitter for the kids and get out once in awhile, and I try to get together with my friend once a week as well. Sometimes I just need conversation with an adult. Kids are fine and all, but they aren't adults, you know what I mean?

My in-laws are on their way to Florida where they'll be for the next few months. They called the other day and were in Chattanooga, TN at a hotel for the night. It was sunny and 60. My heart sank. I felt a deep pang of longing and a little bit of envy.

What do I need? Spring, that's what. I need to get moving. I need some sunshine. I take vitamin D daily. I need to stretch my legs and see some beauty, growth, life. That's not likely to happen for awhile though.

I guess you could pray for me if you think of it. And if you have any suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them.

Winter Blah's

Wow. Today the sun is shining and the temp is right around 36 degrees or so. The three inches of snow we got the other day is beginning to melt and it actually feels kinda nice outside (compared to the sub-freezing temps we've been putting up with for the past month).

I'd love to go outside and take a walk or stomp around the yard, but I don't dare leave the kids inside alone... no telling what they'd do.

I've got the winter blah's pretty bad. You know what they are. Sick of cold, sick of snow, sick of gray sheet skies. Thankfully the sun does shine once in a while. What makes it worse is that I've been getting garden catalogs in the mail. Seeds and plants are staring at me in all their summertime beauty, which only makes me want it to warm up all the more. But alas, it's only the 2nd of February. I fear many more gray skies will pass overhead before Spring teases me with green grass and daffodils.

However, I'm going to do something to encourage myself. I bought some seed started the other day and a packet of rosemary seeds. I've also got some grapefruit seeds saved to try sprouting. So I'm going to plant those and hope for some seedlings soon. That might help the situation a little... to see something alive and growing.

Hope you're having a decent winter where you are.