Something's been happening to me lately. Oh, actually, it's probably been a few months now. I don't really understand why. I feel like I'm going a little crazy.
See, I hate being cooped up in the house, and winter... well, I hate the cold, brown, grey of winter, and I tend to stay inside if I can help it. Admittedly, I suffer a bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Days when the sun shines help.
The effect of winter on my mind is a sense of insanity. I feel anxious. I get short tempered. Easily frustrated. Lazy. I find myself clinching my teeth, and occasionally wanting to scream. Even my driveway looks different in the winter, greyer, harder, more dead (if that's possible).
I do get out of the house sometimes. That helps. Melora and I get a sitter for the kids and get out once in awhile, and I try to get together with my friend once a week as well. Sometimes I just need conversation with an adult. Kids are fine and all, but they aren't adults, you know what I mean?
My in-laws are on their way to Florida where they'll be for the next few months. They called the other day and were in Chattanooga, TN at a hotel for the night. It was sunny and 60. My heart sank. I felt a deep pang of longing and a little bit of envy.
What do I need? Spring, that's what. I need to get moving. I need some sunshine. I take vitamin D daily. I need to stretch my legs and see some beauty, growth, life. That's not likely to happen for awhile though.
I guess you could pray for me if you think of it. And if you have any suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them.